Facing a life long Fear

Facing a life long Fear

Me, my sister and my grandmère set off for school one morning. Grandmère was driving us, as she was out from Mauritius visiting for a couple of months. Suddenly a big 8 legged friend walked up the windscreen (on the outside) and within seconds on a major road in Sydney, we’d pulled over, and all got out of the car and grandmère walked us to the bus stop and to school.

So irrational was her fear of huntsman spiders, that she left mum’s car with the ignition on and key most definitely in, abandoned. Mum retrieved it later, still there thank goodness and the spider was later found and removed.

Guess who took that experience on and adopted the fear as my own?

I’ve worn my husbands clothes out in public, straight from the wash basked, because there was a huntsman in our bedroom.

I’ve sent my lap top flying across the room and a hot peppermint tea across my leg, because there was a huntsman in the living room.

I’ve flee’d my apartment at 2am to sleep at then boyfriend, now husband’s house, unable to deal with the furry creature.

I’ve knocked on my neighbour’s door at 12.30AM, because there was a huntsman.

I’ve woken my little sister at 3am back in the day, because there was a hunstman OUTSIDE my bedroom. Outside. Not even in!

Paralysed, irrational, unable to think anything through, these days as soon as the weather’s warm, I look out for huntsmans. Every corner of every room as I enter it. Eyes darting about. Shadows explored. Baby ones disposed of while I can still cope with them in size. Poor things. Windows preferably closed to point of heat suffocation, rather than the thought that one might get it. You might think I’m exaggerating. Sadly, I’m not. I don’t have the fear with any other spider type. It’s a specific, obsessive fear.

Why on earth go on about this to you?

Because recently I said to myself: NO MORE! This is a block existing in my life, that I am ready to out grow. This was my grandmère’s fear, NOT mine. This is something that causes low level anxiety and often crazy adrenal stress for several months in the year and that is not a good thing to carry around for my health!

So, in the morning, I will be working with a top practitioner referred to me by the lovely Amy over at The Holistic Ingredient, to clear the fear. It is said she never failed.

I am ready to be an “i’ll just grab a jar to pop him into, so we can put him outside” person.

I’m excited for what it might mean to let go of this fear.

What are you scared of? Fancy challenging yourself to work on it? This stuff is not good to carry around, so come join me and let your fears go!

Have a beautiful weekend,

Alexx x

 

Comments

  1. Good luck Alexx.
    I know how fearless you are on the inside!

    • alexxstuart says:

      Thanks B – it was a fabulous session indeed! Feeling exhausted for having dealt with so many things and let them go. Peacefully exhausted. x

  2. Love it, when my fears present themselves which at times is often with my anxiety. I begin my mantra of….. false evidence appearing real, and repeat false evidence appearing real over and over until I manage to get through whatever the fear may be…… Vx

    • alexxstuart says:

      Love that one Vera – works for me with day to day work stuff. Got some fab tools for the deeper memory stuff today. Excited to see a huntsman and say hello now! :-)

  3. *like*

  4. I’m fearful of snakes. I can’t even look at a photograph of them. During my walks through the Merri creek (known to have snakes) my eyes dart around to make sure there isn’t one slithering onto the path. I also hesitate to walk through long in maintained grass. When I do find myself thinking about them, I try to fill my mind with positive thoughts. During my walks when I get anxious I stomp because apparently the sound keeps them away.
    Good luck!!

    • alexxstuart says:

      Thanks for the support Hajar – It was a great session. Looking forward to greeting a little creature without all that old fear some time soon. If the phobia stops you from enjoying something, maybe you should get it checked out too? :-)

  5. For the record, I *vividly* remember the 3 am wake up… ;) Very proud of you for doing this, go sis! x

  6. you will succeed because you’re ready! when i think of all the ridiculous things i have been scared of over the years…and then i got cancer and it didn’t scare me at all!! i’m making this point as i can 100% say that my physical body did not give me cancer as i have been following the best nutritional “guru” for years, my cancer was caused from my emotional blockages, but since my surgery and refusing toxic chemo i have found the most amazing doctor who specializes in timeline therapy which deals with the sub-conscience [which is formed by the age of 6] and it has completely changed my life! i am now free from all those emotional restrictions and blockages so here is the message…fix your emotional baggage and i’ll guaranty a much healthier physical body, to finish i can say i’ m the happiest, healthiest and most energized i have been in all my 41 years, and i keep being told on a daily bases that i’m glowing!! good luck Alexx and thank you for sharing your knowledge and passion… communication is the key. xox

    • alexxstuart says:

      Melissa. Thanks so much for sharing your story, amazing courage! I totally agree re the physical state. Your doc sounds intriguing indeed. Love hearing stories of docs integrating therapies. Happening more and more which is awesome. Have a beautiful weekend xx

  7. Love it, when my fears present themselves which at times is often with my anxiety.